Silly Stuff

"I am a little teapot short and stout"

"how sweet, to be an idiot"

There are those amongst us who believe that we exist inside a great computer programme running on a celestial Pentium III. They pray daily that the time of the Blue Screen Of Death will not come, and that the programme has been fully debugged.

I'd like to get hold of the bastard that wrote my code. Who but a sadist could have written in my ex wives.

I must admit, though, that it would be great to reboot and start again.

Perhaps, if we lead good lives, we ascend into Linux. If not, we descend into Windows Hell, where we spend eternity reinstalling. Borderline cases would be kept in MacOS. Saints would go to BeOS, where there are no driver problems, because there are no drivers.

There would be degrees of hell. The DOS degree, where you spend eternity trying to allocate IRQs, the Windows degree where you spend eternity installing bug fixes, oops, service packs. The Windows 2000 degree where you have to buy new versions of everything and your peripherals go belly up. The MacOS degree, where great loneliness is felt because nobody writes software for you. I see it all, choking on bloatware, paying through the nose, obeying the whims of the cursed suits of Redmond, being told what you like and really want. Playing Hide The Command Line. Given new visions for the future that will never happen. Everywhere you look, you see symbols representing the great Windows sign, the three fingered salute.

Imagine, eternity with COBOL programmers, cursed for all time over Y2K, Amiga manufacturers cursed for abandoning humanity in it's hour of need, and raising false hopes time and time again. UNIX license holders cursed for screwing us big time and going proprietary and non compatible. The Apple suits who give us fruit flavoured boxes with eternally empty hard drives.

There are others amongst us who believe this is all garbage.

What do I believe? I believe that it is still 1968, and that everything that I think has happened since is the result of a bad acid trip.

You can die now, Bill, we are ready for you!

"stick yer finger in yer ear and sing ting-a-ling-a-loo"

"who was that famous seer who told us that 640k ram was enough for anybody?"

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Peace on all the warmongers!

Ha Ha, I'm the good guy now!